Jealous, upset and babies?!

This is hard… but while I ponder the next blog post (My birthday), which will be even more painful, I’ll give you this…..

 

There seems to be a baby boom going on with my friends right now. I have more people than I can count who are pregnant. Lisa, Nicol, Sarah W. Jenette, a cousin who just had a baby, a cousin who is expecting, to name a few….

Lisa is expecting #2, Nicol # 3, Sarah #5 YES FIVE, read her Once upon a time story, it had me laughing and crying!  Jenette #1, cousin Kelli #2, cousin Sara #2.

 

There is nothing I love more than a baby!!! It also brings me a lot of emotions, jealous would be the first thing that comes to mind…. I know some day I might want another baby, right now no. but some day?! Maybe?!? 

Maybe Not ?! ?

Then I wonder if things where different would I already have that baby or be planning that baby. I mean if we had a bigger home, would that baby already be here…. or what if I didn’t  have PPD after Carter, would I be planning the next little Guzzo. I always get sooo excited when I hear the news of another baby coming.Such a blessing and such joy those little bundles bring. 

But then in the next breath I have tears, and feel sorry for myself. I often wonder if I use the PPD as an excuse,  or maybe I don’t really want baby #3?!  I can tell you if I found out today I was pregnant, I would be a mess. I would not be overjoyed just yet. I also wonder if God gave me PPD as a form of birth control knowing, I have already been blessed with what I can handle.  I fill with so much emotion, with the news of each new being coming to earth. I also want my friends to know. PLEASE don’t hide your pregnancy or details from me, because as of now, I am living through you and the birth of your new ones, whom I already love! <3

 

Wishing you ALL fast, safe labor and delivers and postpartum bliss!!! XOXO