Do you ever feel like crying?

I DO!!!!!!!!! I have so much to be Thankful for, God, Frank, Nikolas, Carter, my family, friends but I feel like I want so much more and I'm wondering if this is wrong? I'm happy and really there is no place I'd rather be (I think that's a country song) but I just want more? I want to be closer to God, closer with husband and well the kids not so much! lol! But I just feel sad and want to scream out, I can't be the only one to feel this way- am I? I HATE my father and I know this is cause of him. I need to forgive him but really, I'm not sure I'm ready to let go.

I always allow others to do this to me. WHY??????